Shift Happens: Graduate Changes in Identity

By Ben Neale, Winter 2010

In the midst our current fast moving and seemingly media soaked societal landscape, answering the universal and inevitable question, “Who am I?” has become more complicated. Self-differentiation and identification underlie this timeless question. In other words, the methods one uses to form his or her identity are in flux—and in jeopardy.

The psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg notes a shift in the way people on the verge of adulthood relate and identify with notions of politics, morality, and the “other.” This sort of mental liberation can create more room for debate and experimentation in young people.

The formation of personal identity does not occur in a vacuum, but rather in a cultural context that incorporates one’s sense of belonging to various collective and social identities. A social group identity encompasses the connections between an individual and how he or she is perceived by other people and classified by social institutions. Physical, cultural, or social characteristics such as race, gender, class, sexuality, national origin, faith, or ability are also social categories by which people are recognized by others.

Based on this constellation of theories describing the interrelation of self, group, and life stage, I became interested in how some of my fellow G3 PsyD classmates at CSPP incorporated these concepts into their respective lives. The choice to interview these particular students was based on my knowledge of important shifts in each one of their social identity group memberships since arriving at CSPP almost two-and-a-half years ago. I must commend the following three individuals, who were all very courageous in entering this dialogue with me and sharing an important piece of themselves with readers.

After dating women for much of the past decade, Petrakis has recently begun dating a man, which has altered the perception other people have about her identity—especially the privilege garnered by being in a heterosexual relationship.

“The benefits of now being with a man are enormous,” she said. “I don't have to think about my sexuality if I don't want to because the world understands me the way it is outwardly presented.”

As someone who does not identify as “straight,” there are also costs that come with this presentation. “My unique perspective on my own identity gets lost all the time,” she said. “The experiences I have had, positive and negative, feel like they get subsumed into a heterosexual identity that is put upon me.”

The impact of attending graduate school at Alliant created struggles beyond the realm of academics; it also created another context for Petrakis to integrate her identity.

“My first semester in grad school I considered leaving because I felt it was not a safe or understanding environment for me to learn and grow,” she said. “I had a few homophobic experiences inside classes that made me feel alone and isolated.”

However, as the year continued, Petrakis said her comfort level grew, allowing her to loosen the tight grip she once held around her identity as a gay woman. Relinquishing this protection contributed to an emotional openness that facilitated the freedom she used to meet and fall in love with a man.

Jason Ribner has gone through a personal identity development as well. For him, his Jewish identity has been strengthened in graduate school. Ribner remembers his Jewish identity being strongest while attending Jewish elementary school, but as he matriculated through public high school and college, he slowly lost his close affiliation to the faith.

Yearning to visit Israel, Ribner was finally able to go this past summer through the Taglit-Birthright Israel program, which provides educational trips to Israel for Jewish young adults between the ages of 18 and 26. Learning more about the current state of Israel and Jewish people in different parts of the world increased Ribner’s pride in being Jewish, he said.

Attending graduate school also played a role in Ribner’s identification with Judaism. “Before, Judaism was just a part of me, and now through school, it is my identity,” he said. “By seeing some of my clients who either don’t fully understand their identity and others who have a strong identity, I realize how important it is to know what we believe, where we’ve come from, and how we move forward.”

During his time studying at CSPP, Joe Zamaria has wrestled with important questions about how his multi-racial identity navigates his sense of group belonging. This contemplation reflects another stage of identification.

“When I was younger,” Zamaria said, “I thought I was Asian because of my Syrian father.” In high school, he began identifying as Caucasian, but eventually felt rejected by that group. “Most of them said, ‘No, you are not Caucasian,’” he said. “I didn’t feel accepted by any people on Earth.”

These early life experiences led Zamaria to conclude that the categories used to describe race are inadequate given the variations between races on a genetic level. “I wish people of Arabic descent could declare their own identity as opposed to being defined by someone else’s racial category,” he said.

Furthermore, Zamaria found the rigorous scrutiny required to understand his clients in the therapy room was an important way to do them justice. And when this process is turned inward, “it got me to think a little bit harder about how I can describe myself,” he said.

As the reflections of these three students indicate, personal growth and identity development gain significant importance during our years in a clinical psychology graduate program. What parts of you have developed since arriving at CSPP, and how might these developments impact you as a therapist and other roles in your life?

For further reading read Kirk & Okazawa-Rey, 2004; Griffin, Hardiman, & Jackson, 2007.