Is Retarded the New Gay?

By Ben Neale, Spring 2010

I recently shared a lively conversation with some close friends over a meal. Everyone was enjoying the discussion, when one individual who was describing a recent experience declared, “Yeah, I was such a retard.” That’s when the conversation came to a grinding halt. Beside myself, everyone at the table held graduate degrees in student affairs and works at a local institution of higher education. Many also possess a significant amount of cultural competence concerning issues of race, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic class, age, and disability. So when one of our peers, whom we thought was similarly sensitive about anti-oppressive language, uttered the “r-word,” all astonished eyes turned to that person.

After a few seconds of silence, the individual who stated the derogatory term for the developmentally disabled knew something was wrong. That person made a joking acknowledgement of her transgression and moved quickly to another topic.

This same person, an ardent activist for the rights of many disenfranchised groups, did not recognize the same harm in calling herself “retarded,” as I know she would have if remarking, “That is so gay.”

But this type of faux pas is not limited to private dinner parties. Earlier this year, President Obama’s chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, publicly stated that a certain wing of the Democratic Party was, “f------g retarded.” The incident generated a storm of backlash and criticism, shining light on how easily the “r-word” provides fuel for the fire of insults and controversy.

When professionals responsible for modeling positive self-concepts and serving as agents of social change falter in this way, what does this say about the pervasiveness of “ableist” language in our society?

While working in high schools for a few years, I overheard the ubiquitous use of the “r-word” by many students. In the hallways during passing periods, I had a difficult time keeping up with the chorus of offensive language that was batted from student to student. Like the slurs, “sissy,” “pussy,” “wimp,” and other emasculating epithets of comparable disdain, “retard” has become a favorite tool in the arsenal of bullies in the K-12 learning communities. Fortunately, many other teachers and I were quick to point out the destructive power of most offensive terms. Yet, few faculty members were willing to offer the same correction to the expression, “That is so retarded.”

The colloquial use of “retarded” is the latest in a long line of stigmatizing terms for individuals with mentally illnesses. Other terms include: crazy, psycho, loony, dumb, insane, slow, freak, demented, idiot, spastic, nuts, mad, mental, disturbed, and many other common terms. Many of these words are casually thrown around in daily usage, though of late, the word “retarded” seems to be the most popular.

The Bay Area provides a heightened level of consciousness revolving around non-shaming language. In the gay-friendly city of San Francisco, I have found a marked difference in the overall sensitivity of people regarding sexual freedom, orientation, and identity compared to the small Midwestern town in which I grew up. Nonetheless, I would like the same respect given to our LGBTQ friends and family to be given to individuals who have a mental illness.

As future mental health, business, and education professionals, the students of Alliant will likely work with oppressed groups of people that will not only have to confront their personal condition, but who will also have to contest with the jeers and sneers of many members of society. If we truly want to be “allies” and use our elevated social status to protect targeted groups from social injustices, we must first challenge each other and ourselves. We must stand against the use of derogatory terms like “retarded.” Working to disarm the use of such words is crucial if we are to be effective mental health practitioners and educators.

In an effort to increase public awareness, March 3rd was recognized as the End the R-Word Day. To find out more information, visit www.r-word.org.