JUST FOR LAUGHS: What a Waste of Money!!!

By John Peachey (& Peter Clark), Winter 2008

With the economy in the toilet, perhaps it’s time to reevaluate my investments. Instead of wasting $25,000 a year on an education, there are so many cooler things I ought to be purchasing. Like…

Cryogenically preserving my uneducated head ($80,000 for the whole body – alcor.org)

About 6.33 seconds of the war in Iraq ($3,951per second)

Liposuction ($9,000), Chin Implants ($4,500), Cheek Implants ($4,500), Pectoral Implants ($6000) and Tattoo Removal ($400) - (at least I could fall back on modeling if this psychology thing doesn’t work out for me)

25,000 Twinkies – (they last forever!)

The private island of “Isla Gatun” in Panama (privateislandsonline.com)

Naming 458 stars after myself (Captainjohn, John-O-Rama, Sexyjohn, etc.) from starregistry.com

An airplane to write my farewell letter in smoke skywriting above Alliant – ($800 for every 30 letters)

But then again, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported the average annual income of California psychologists at $105,650. Plus, employment of psychologists is expected to grow 15 percent from 2006 to 2016. At that rate, I could afford to do all of these things if I just stick with school for a few more years! As long as I don’t plan on buying a house…